Sterek the Kitten
by AgentAlexKrycek
Summary: Hilarity ensues after someone dumps a cute little kitten on the Preserve near the ruins of the Old Hale House, and Stiles feels it would be a terrific companion for lone-wolf Derek.


_**"Sterek" the Kitten**_

_**By Agent Alex Krycek**_

Hilarity ensues after someone dumps a cute kitten on the Preserve near the Old Hale House, and Stiles feels it would be a terrific companion for lone-wolf Derek.

_**Established relationship, legal-aged characters, and, do I really have to say it, I don't own anything, not even an imaginary cat… Season One/Two timeframe Stiles/Derek**_

* * *

><p>"AAaaaaaack! Stiles, what… What the hell is that?!" Derek yelped.<p>

"Oh, quit being such a dramawolf, it's just a wittle kittey kittems," Stiles cooed. "To be more precise _your_ kitten!" He announced, shoving the scared kitten in Derek's face.

"Wha… No way! Get that feral furball out of my house…" Derek ordered.

"What's all this about? You've got claws, he's got claws; You've got fangs, he's got fangs; you've got fur, he's got fur; You've got super hearing, he's got super hearing…. He's got a tail, you've gotta… Oh well, you get the idea… You two are more alike than you are different…," Stiles calmly explained. "Don't let the _big bad wolf_ scare you, baby."

"No way, Stiles! There are several rungs of the food chain between me at that miserable creature… Go give it to Denton, or better yet, one of the girls…," Derek tried to order.

"Nope, sorry. Some heartless bastard abandoned him on your property, Derek." Stiles explained. "_Ergo_, he is now _your_ cat."

"Ergo, really?!" the young werewolf said, raising his eyebrow almost to his hairline.

"It's a real word, look it up!" Stiles snapped.

"Oh, I know it's a word, I just haven't heard it used in this millennium, that's all…" Derek countered back. "And, if anything, he's more like you than me… In need of constant attention, protection, and validation. Twitchy, Jumpy & Spooky and several of the other alternate Dwarfes as well, I'll bet… Questionably trained and housebroken. And, I really hate to tell you this, oh Genius one, but it's obviously a girl!"

"What?! Are you sure…," Stiles said, lifting the tiny animal to inspect it.

"Ha, Got you! Besides there's something wrong with your logic, there Spock-linski.. If everything that wondered onto my property belonged to me, you and Scott would be in cages at Denton's as we speak," Derek quipped, tentatively reaching a finger out to stroke the tiny kitten's nose.

"Nice Star Trek reference, another forty years and we'll have you up-to-date, Derek… But, how can you be so heartless? Just look at his whittle face. _I rerry ruv ru Uncle Derek! Please don't throw me out in the snow where I'll be eaten by an owl…_ Your Uncle just loves to punch owls in the face. Yes, he does. See, he likes you," Stiles exclaimed. "Animals are great judges of character."

"Why's he all over you then?" Derek asked snidely.

"Ha ha…' Stiles answered drolly. "I worry about you being out here all by yourself. He would be such a good companion for you… Look at those beautiful big eyes, look at the lashes, It's just like having Isaac stay here…only he'll eat less." Stiles laughed at his own joke.

"Yeah, and I wouldn't let Isaac run around my house naked either! And, oh my God, what's he doing now?!" Derek yelped, quickly retracting his finger.

"Ha! I'll bet if Isaac could lick himself like that, you'd let him stay…!" Stiles said laughing. "He'd be good company for you, and I'll bet he's going to grow up to be a great mouser."

"I don't have mice, Stiles!" Derek said defensively.

"Are you serious here, Fleabag? You don't even have walls in some areas. I woke up with a squirrel in the bed the other morning, Derek. A fucking Squirrel! …. Between the burned-out husk and the werewolves, this place is a wicked witch away from being on the haunted house tour ~ right between Amityville and Mockingbird Lane."

"Ummm, There _was_ a witch…Hello? Remember Kate!? Besides, I gave you that squirrel. I wanted to make you breakfast in bed." Derek countered. "So much for trying to be _romantic_…"

"I stand corrected, …and slightly nauseated..." Stiles answered. "He's very self-reliant, or he will be when he grows a little."

"Stiles, my lifestyle can not allow for a cat, or any pet, at this time in my life. He deserves someone who will love him, somewhere where he can have some stability, normality, friends and holidays, and a normal childhood without werewolves, kanimas, psychos, hunters and …"

"Hmmm, that rationalization sounds soooo familiar. Wasn't it the same argument you used for me?!" Stiles asked sarcastically. "We're still talking about little Sterek here, aren't we?!"

"Oh, God, you already named him? This is bad. Oh, so very vewy bad…Crap, now you have me doing it," Derek said pacing.

"Like it? I used both our names and combined them to make it…" Okay how about I meet you halfway? We can share custody of him… You get him part of the week, and part of the week, he stays with my Dad and me…"

"Okay, you can have him on the days that end with 'Y,' and I'll take the remainder of the week." Derek offered.

"Why don't we just sleep on it?" Stiles asked, doing his best to make puppy-eyes and failing. "No need to make any rash decisions tonight…"

"He needs a better name…" Derek argued. "What do you think of _Ergo_?!"

_**Afterwards**_

Stiles quietly put his clothes back on. Before heading out to his Jeep, he stopped in the doorway to look back at the man he loves. Derek lay sleeping, with a little ball of fur curled peacefully on his sculpted chest. And, even though the two were sound asleep, he swore he could hear purring. Stiles gave them both a kiss as he left for the night.

"Sweet Dreams, Baby."

_**Editor's Note:**_ Well, I hope you liked it. This was a little plot bunny that has been lost on my hard drive for about a year, that _Finally_ found his way out! Please leave a comment. I LIVE to hear from you guys!


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